Monday, 8 March 2010

Am I fit?

My balance hasn't been so good lately. I was on the Wii Fit and The Consultant persuaded me to do the body test and sign up to the exercise programme. Apart from working our your BMI using your height, age and weight, it tested your balance as a key indicator of aging. I won't tell you exactly how old that stupid machine said I was, but it was considerably different to my biological age... I knew I shouldn't have had that glass of wine before I started...

Anyway, it got me thinking about maintaining my balancing act in other areas. I haven't been brilliant, it has to be said. I looked at my diary for the last few weeks, and it has been full. But very full of things that are just stuff. Not full of all the creative things that I swore I was going to create more time and head space for. I have been spending a lot of time at my children's school. Doing necessary things, I suppose, but not things that someone else couldn't do, if you see what I mean...

At the beginning of the year I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself get over-committed, and that I would have focus this year on my own creative work. But I haven't been very successful. One of the reasons is clearly that I find it hard to say no when I am asked to do something. On three days last week I found myself at school doing something or other. But perhaps a more truthful reason is that I find it hard to put my writing first because it does not come under the category of either wage-earning, or looking after the family, and therefore comes low down on the list of perceived priorities. The fact that if I don't write, it affects my mental health, doesn't seem to come into the equation!

So, again, I find myself readjusting, pushing back those commitments, trying to carve out time for myself, striving for balance again. It ain't easy.

4 comments:

SOPHIA ROBERTS said...

Oh, I can so relate to this. Why, oh why is it so hard to make writing a priority? I love it when I get down to it, but - it would seem - will do most anything to avoid it. I think I know why: writing is hard work!

Lola said...

I don't find that I procrastinate because writing is hard work, it's more that writing is a pleasure just for me, and there are so many more 'important' things that need to be done. Cleaning, coursework, the tax return, paying bills, getting the car serviced. Spending that bit of time on me, just writing, always gets put at the bottom of the list.

W.C.Camp said...

Hang in there and keep writing for YOURSELF. Soon enough the kids grow-up and you will have all of those lovely words to fall back upon - uh and that Wii thing too if you keep sipping wine before the tests!

Smile! W.C.C.

claires inner world said...

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't responded to your comments before now.
Sophia - I do think writing is hard work, and sometimes I wonder why I'm putting myself through it! Certainly wouldn't be for the money!! But then I come around in the end to Lola's way of thinking which is that writing is fun. It's gotta be. Otherwise why would we...?! So thanks for your comments too, Lola. I totally agree about the difficulty of prioritising writing.
W.C.C. Thanks for your supportive and kind comments! Will try not to injure myself on the Wii!!