Friday, 25 April 2008

Having a moment.

I had a moment the other day. A moment of lust for another man. (sorry, Dave, if you're reading this..) I don't quite know how to descibe it other than a kind of 'technical lust' - it wasn't as though there was any desire to pursue this feeling, and it was more of a surprised reaction that I found this man attractive. He was a lot older than me, probably by 25 or 30 years, and quite overweight with receding hair. Sounds good? No, I didn't think so either, until he took me by the hand to teach me the cha-cha-cha.
Now there is something about a man who can dance. The way he held my hands and guided me was quite exquisite. And the fact that he clearly had absolutely no desire or intentions towards me made the moment all the more sweet.

It was interesting because it makes you question what sexual attractiveness actually is. Regardless of what the glossy magazines spin us, it is not about symmetrical faces, stick thin bodies and designer clothes. It is about an ease and self-possession combined with confidence and personal power. I have been thinking a little about leadership recently, and I have been having thoughts about how sexual attractiveness fits into these models. It is not often discussed as a component, but it seems clear to me that sexual attractiveness is directly intertwined with personal power. (just ask Bill Clinton...)

I'm not sure what the upshot of these thoughts are, but I guess the main thing is that it gives us all hope that we are attractive to other people, regardless of how we look! It has a lot more to do with how we behave - how we interact, how we present ourselves and how we feel inside that matters. Also, it seems to me that if we are confident in ourselves, that confers a personal power upon us that we can then use in our daily lives to communicate with, influence and guide other people.

So thanks to my dance teacher for giving me food for thought (and the cha-cha-cha.)